Determined

This time i'm really giving up. I really don't know how i can please anyone.

Yes i may be stupid. "You spend too much money on him and get back nothing i love this." Thank you hater, you made me realise how much i suck and yes i do spend a lot of money on him. But i did it out of love. But if he doesn't appreciate it, there's nothing i can do but to say that i'm stupid. And i wouldn't be all boastful and say yeah, i spent $xx on him the other time, and $xx on him the other time, etc. Because in love, there's really no calculations. Yes i may have spend a lot of money on him, but i don't regret it one bit. Just by my small actions of paying the bill, buying his favourite things pleases me because when i see him smile or happy, there's always a warm fuzzy feeling inside of me. So no, i don't ever regret it. If there was a chance to go back in time, i would definitely say that i would choose to do it all over again.

Yes you may know the reason why we broke up, but i don't. You might feel as if you have an edge over me, but honestly, it's okay. It's been like close to 5 months? Yes i have stupidly waited 5 months for a reply on why we broke up, and honestly, he's still not close to telling me. Every single time i ask, he would always say "I no mood talk." Yeah it hurts, but what can i do. Quarrels after quarrels happen but yet i still don't know what the answer is. And yet during this 5 months that i have been waiting, i've treated him no differently. All i was hoping was to get back together and hopefully last long. A month ago, it was our 1st year. No doubt i still wish we were together. Just imagine all the things we could do. Just imagine if i actually knew what happen the other time, maybe i or we could fix this mess and spend our 1st year together. But i know, no matter how much i hope or wish, things wouldn't go back the same.

"If a person comes back the second time, it will never be the same."

Till then,
xx